The other morning, I had the pleasure of spending time with my sister in law. Not only is she sweet and beautiful, but she is also a therapist. Lord knows I can use one of those! Being a therapist, she is a great listener and I always leave our conversations with little nuggets of wisdom that I didn't have going in, or feeling better about something that had been bothering me.
While she was here, we talked a bit about the upcoming release of my debut novel. Normally when I talk about this, people's eyes glaze over with boredom. They don't get what it means that I have persevered and actually written a full length novel. Me! The queen of procrastination. I have a basement full of partially finished craft projects that I just lost interest in. I have hundreds of notebooks lying around this house with the beginnings of novel outlines and incomplete short stories. The fact that I have finished this book is a miracle in itself, and those who truly know me will agree!
One thing most people don't know about me is that I have incredibly low self esteem. I'm good at hiding that and can fake it like a champ, but I have to work hard at looking confident. I won't bore you with the hows or whys of what caused this. The reason I bring it up is, to confess that I am scared out of my mind for the debut of Ryker. I worry that people will hate it or think it's silly or poorly written. I have several people that have read it and they all think I'm nuts. They tell me that it's amazing and they loved it, but as usual self doubt is my constant companion.
I know that on August 14th, I will be sitting here, downing wine like water, trying to avoid reading the reviews posted about the book I worked so hard to write. I know I will get some negative reviews, and to be honest, I look forward to them. If they are constructive, I can use them to help me improve my future writing. I just don't want them to ALL be negative.
While talking to my sister in law, she showed me a quote from Theodore Roosevelt that
stopped me in my tracks. It made me think about it from a different perspective. I did this. I wrote this book and put myself out there. I achieved a goal that I had set for myself when I was only a child. Not everyone can say that. So now, I will keep this quote close at hand, especially on release day, to remind myself that I am my own worst enemy, I need to be proud of my accomplishments, and to take constructive criticisms and use them to make myself the best writer that I can be.
Thank you wise sister in law for inadvertently derailing the panic attack that I had scheduled for August 14th!